AJ's State of Mind

I wanted to avoid starting a new thread for this and considered maybe posting it in the other thread about AJ. But, I just couldn't see any relation between AJ and Lil Vito in this matter. Perhaps someone might consider that LV's mom handing him his walking papers and Blanca handing AJ his bag to be similar. But that was just too far-fetched for me. The difference between a kiss off shortly after a marriage proposal and sending a kid off to a boot camp for a few weeks was just too large to be realistic in my mind.

I wanted to explain something about my state of mind when I was a young man. I don't know if I was very typical of many young men but I thought it might be something many women would like to hear - especially if it is a typical attitude for a young man when they experience sex for the first time.

I don't know if AJ was a virgin the first time he had sex with Blanca, but the first time I had sex with a woman, my attitude was that this was a life-changing experience and that I loved this woman and that she loved me and that my life would never be the same.

I thought that I would immediately become transformed into a real good man - honest, loyal, unswerving in my devotion to her and to the goal of having a happy life together.

I don't know what I thought would become of all my neurotic or "problem" behaviors. At that time, I would enjoy making fun of those who were less fortunate than myself. I was often stingy and mean-spirited and would think nothing of stealing from anyone if I thought I could get away with it.

The point is that I thought the sex act would magically open a portal to a new life for me - a life that was filled with honest, generous and kind-hearted people and that never again would I experience any of life's problems.

Looking back, I now know just how stupid and naive all that was. But it leaves me with some questions that I'd like to pose to this forum:

First, have you or anyone else you known either gone through this kind of attitude shift as it pertained to someone's first sexual act?

Second, in your experience or your opinion, was I alone with this experience? Or is it a fairly common experience for some young people?

Third, we never really got to see AJ's reaction to Blanca handing him his hat (an old expression). I know that he will probably be shocked initially. But we only got to see his face for a fraction of a second or so. The interesting question is, "How do you think this will likely affect AJ in the short term as well as in the longer term"?

I realize these are a lot of questions. I'm just interested in anyone who might care to answer any of them.

Re: AJ's State of Mind

Judging from the previews . . .

(for those who don't watch previews of the next ep and don't want to know, please skip the rest of my post) . . .

AJ's state of mind is going to be quite depressed. He looked almost in a fetal position on his bed back at the Soprano home, crying pitifully while Tony appeared to be trying to get him out of it. Then he was shown trying to hug Blanca at a construction site, strongly suggesting that she was not talking to him via normal channels and that he showed up at her place of work in order to pour his heart out.

I know that Gandolfini said in an interview that he was really taken aback at how good Robert Iler was this season, and it looks like next week will show us what he meant. I thought Iler was excellent in the few minutes he had tonight. I already felt sorry for him when he proposed because he seemed so utterly vulnerable and earnest and I knew this girl didn't really want him. Of course we knew AJ was headed for heartbreak from the first episode this season, when he had the name "Blanca" tatooed on his arm.:icon_cry:
Tony, his spirits crushed after b-lining to the fridge first thing in the morning: "Who ate the last piece of cake?"

Re: AJ's State of Mind

I think you could have started with 'Third'. The rest is probably better on Dr. Ruth or Dr. Phil's website.

A.J. is certainly in deep, not only with Blanca, but he is attached to her son as well. He has changed his whole persona and appearance to meet what he thinks are her expectations.

His identity is likely pulled out from under him IMHO.

I don't remember if anything confirmed him sleeping with Devan Pillsbury. This could be his first. He also had a date at Allegra's wedding. (the smoker who wouldn't eat fish because of the toxins). lol.

Re: AJ's State of Mind

Splishak you hit on some great ideas here. I think it pretty clear that AJ has had sex prior to Blanca. It’s strongly suggested in Season 5 that him and Devin are sexual active.

I think AJ’s situation with Blanca highlight his neediness and insecurities. He is yet to find himself as an individual, instead he is defining himself by his significant other. Basing too much of his identity in his relationship with Blanca is going to be hard to get over. It’s sad that we finally see AJ trying to do the right thing and it’s predictable failing.

This to me is his first true love and that’s never easy to get over. What makes AJ worse off is his position in life. Now, he’s working a job he hates and he’s lost the only thing he was bettering himself for. His illusions for a better future are completely shattered. It doesn’t look good.

I also agree that Robert Iler has done increasingly well with his role and I hope to see that continue.

Re: AJ's State of Mind

I don't think AJ has any clue about why Blanca is leaving him.

The audience had the advantage of seeing Blanca's reaction to AJ saying that the house his mom sold was a mansion, and her disbelief that only two people would be living in that house. Then the camera showed her looking at Carmela.

I think that she was not sure she could or wanted to try to live up to Carmela's image. Nor do I think she understood what value system she would be marrying into. It all seemed to be very uncomfortable to her. Women building houses, mansions for two people, people who got out of jail right away.

All these differences between life as she knew it, and as the Sopranos lived it, seem to cause emtional and mental conflicts for Blanca.

Re: AJ's State of Mind

I guess Blanca always thought that AJ's family would somehow make life better for her and her son. But month after month, nothing changes. Her dinner with Meadow must have been the last straw. While I'm that sure Meadow never intended any harm towards Blanca, neither did she give any consideration towards Blanca's feelings when she said Brian needed that huge, monster house cuz they had a baby on the way. It seemed completelly obvious that Meadow just doesn't give a shit about Blanca and neither do her folks. I suppose that must have been the last straw.

I must have just become too much for Blanca. Seeing the contrast between AJs parents and all their friends on the one hand, and AJ, the scared little baby on the other hand. Remember his crying out to Carmella about the bear? "MOMMEEE! HELP ME MOMMEEE! MOMMEEEEE!). Yes, AJ is just a scared little baby and Blanca must have decided that she must have been crazy to ever hope he could become a man.

AJ is no man. He's just a scared little boy and Blanca must have decided that she needs a real man. She must have been crazy to ever hope for anything like that from AJ. Poor guy! (paraphrasing what Blanca must have heard - can we do that?): "I'm making plenty of pizzas now, but soon I'll be in charge of the day shift and making even more pizzas. Then we'll be on Eatzza Pizza Street and after that, it'll be Easy Peasy Promenade. Then I'll get my own clubs and restaurants and soon I'll be making oodles of noodles and never again will Blanca's baby have to eat those Italian noodles with gravy. It just seemed to all sound so ridiculous to me. I can only wonder what it must have sounded like to Blanca.

But, I must say that Blanca had a very impressive way of breaking things off. Just put your ex's stuff in a bag, hand them the bag and drive away. No muss, no fuss and no wasted tears. Goodbye little AJ muchacho. Adios Amigos!

Re: AJ's State of Mind

Splishak wrote:I don't know if AJ was a virgin the first time he had sex with Blanca, but the first time I had sex with a woman, my attitude was that this was a life-changing experience and that I loved this woman and that she loved me and that my life would never be the same.

Shit, I used to do that everytime, and man that got expensive. It took me a while to cut that crap out...

This episode was the first time I was EVER sympathetic toward AJ; probably because I've been there myself. What happened to him when Blanca dumped him might help him grow up a lot. No doubt his family is going to be relieved, which of course will make AJ feel like more of a loser for picking Blanca in the first place.

Re: AJ's State of Mind

Splish, great thread and posts on your behalf! Robert Iler's acting this season is by far, the best I have ever seen. In Blanca, AJ felt security, a sense of belonging, and a woman, although it was a short period of time, gave him a sense of accomplishment. He is not getting any of these needs met at home that is for sure. I have to say, my heart broke when he told Blanca she wouldn't have to work in a couple of years. I truly think AJ's heart and mind were in the right place and with her, he may have fulfilled this goal.

Re: AJ's State of Mind

i agree with Reflib, Blanca probably cant live in that atmosphere.
she needs fresh air and freedom and getting around in the meighbourhood and not the jail of the rich people what would be expecting her with AJ.rich people can party and get out too...but she has a son, so forget about that.she needs to get around with her son, so she can breathe, not being jailed in a mansion with AJ playing guitar with a straw hat on his head playing the modern hippie bad style.
also...maybe she wanted a baby, and AJ cant or something like that?

edit: just rewatched...:/. pretty sure she dumped him because of his planned pizza career.
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