i'm not sure how i feel about this so i thought i'd see what everyone else thinks. it definitely seems like an unprofessional thing to do, however, seeing as how tony's critical condition is constantly being reported in the media you have to wonder how melfi is feeling about all of this.
if tony were to die i think it's safe to say that melfi would be appropriately devestated and grieve his death. the relationship that those two share, however professional it may be, seems to go a little bit beyond the general doctor/patient relationship. now granted we have seen very little of how melfi treats her other patients in order for us to truly compare, but i think it's safe assume that tony holds a special place with her.
so should she visit tony in the hospital as he potentially nears his final hours? i'm thinking no. but i can't help also thinking that she secretly wants to. any thoughts?
</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://p098.ezboard.com/bthechaselounge ... ycollin</A> at: 3/20/06 9:01 pm
Re: would it be inappropriate for melfi to vist tony?
2didnt she constantly try to get rid of him and was happy when he didnt come anymore?
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Re: would it be inappropriate for melfi to vist tony?
3I mean obiviously with the whole mob angle i could see why she might not want to visit.....but Carmela knows her and even went to sessions with him.....For the most part Chris and the guys (not all of them) know about Melfi.....but he is on life support and in a coma....i don't see her visiting him causing any more damage than whats already done.....
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Re: would it be inappropriate for melfi to vist tony?
4I talked about this tangentially in another thread. Below is a repost of some of those thoughts.
There is that one season preview clip that shows Melfi in a grocery store. There's no way that scene is NOT her seeing Tony (or perhaps Carmela, at the outside) for the first time since the shooting. Her excitement was palpable, even in a fractional second clip.
Even if we don't get that scene of her for some time yet, I really think it's appropriate that we see her reaction in the next episode to the news of Tony's shooting. This woman couldn't help crying after she banished him from her life in season 2. She broke down uncontrollably when he finally agreed to move on to a behaviorist in season 3. And she was on the verge of tears, and was certainly very depressed, when he left therapy in season 4. She has a real compassion for this man despite her simultaneous revulsion to him. And I would expect his shooting -- at the hands of his demented uncle, no less -- to trigger some pretty deep emotions in her.
I think those emotions would be all the more poignant given the arms' length, non-personal interaction that psychotherapists are expected to maintain with their patients. She might, for example, clearly want to hug him the first time she sees him but will be unable to. It's that kind of subtext, that kind of unspoken dynamic that has made their relationship so compelling.
I used to say that the Sopranos was many things and, among them, I felt it was a very unconventional love triangle between Tony, Carmela, and Melfi. Carmela's jealousy of Melfi and the way they both betray subtle competitiveness, even resentment in their few scenes of interaction, fueled my views in this area.
But I think it would be entirely appropriate if Melfi were to call Tony's house and speak to Carmela to ask how he's doing. I can't imagine that THAT would constitute overstepping some doctor-patient boundary. Maybe Observing Ego can weigh in on this one.
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There is that one season preview clip that shows Melfi in a grocery store. There's no way that scene is NOT her seeing Tony (or perhaps Carmela, at the outside) for the first time since the shooting. Her excitement was palpable, even in a fractional second clip.
Even if we don't get that scene of her for some time yet, I really think it's appropriate that we see her reaction in the next episode to the news of Tony's shooting. This woman couldn't help crying after she banished him from her life in season 2. She broke down uncontrollably when he finally agreed to move on to a behaviorist in season 3. And she was on the verge of tears, and was certainly very depressed, when he left therapy in season 4. She has a real compassion for this man despite her simultaneous revulsion to him. And I would expect his shooting -- at the hands of his demented uncle, no less -- to trigger some pretty deep emotions in her.
I think those emotions would be all the more poignant given the arms' length, non-personal interaction that psychotherapists are expected to maintain with their patients. She might, for example, clearly want to hug him the first time she sees him but will be unable to. It's that kind of subtext, that kind of unspoken dynamic that has made their relationship so compelling.
I used to say that the Sopranos was many things and, among them, I felt it was a very unconventional love triangle between Tony, Carmela, and Melfi. Carmela's jealousy of Melfi and the way they both betray subtle competitiveness, even resentment in their few scenes of interaction, fueled my views in this area.
But I think it would be entirely appropriate if Melfi were to call Tony's house and speak to Carmela to ask how he's doing. I can't imagine that THAT would constitute overstepping some doctor-patient boundary. Maybe Observing Ego can weigh in on this one.
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Re: would it be inappropriate for melfi to vist tony?
5These sorts of patient-therapist boundary issues are the subjects of frequent discussion as well as comparison. While sexual relationships and chumships are taboo, hospital visitations, wedding invitations, etc. may be considered appropriate if in accepting the invite, an ethical decision-making process is implemented. It is recommended across all mental health disciplines that ethical quandaries be processed through a peer supervisory process and with careful deliberation. Parenthetically, in multidisciplinary comparison studies, psychiatrists are reported to have committed the most ethical transgressions of a sexual nature, yet are the least sanctioned and/or disciplined; LCSWs and LPCs the least...LCPs somewhere in the middle.
Ethically, I think that it would be completely defensible for Melfi to not only make inquiries, but to initiate a hospital room visit to Tony, given the length of his ongoing therapy and the apparent depth of his attachment to her as the "good enough mother." Her frame would suppport such a decision, as well. As a matter of fact, I have seen this very thing in real life: a young comatose man lay dying of an aneurysm in the ICU, while his psychotherapist quietly talked to him and was just "with him". Given the closeness of their established therapeutic relationship, it felt touching, appropriate as well as soothing. But who knows, as he died without regaining consciousness.
As the first ethical principle is to "do no harm," I feel that a visit from Melfi would be palliative as well as ethically sound. As expressed upthread, I expect a strong and deliberate reaction from Melfi. Along these lines I sensed that Tony was not calling Carm at the end of his dream, but his shrink possibly to report/process a newly realized clarity about that which had been previously unable to access.
This is interesting fodder. Many therapists who engage in longterm work have "the" conversation regarding out-of-session contact at some point; therefore, this issue is aired hopefully before either one has to ruminate too terribly much.
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Ethically, I think that it would be completely defensible for Melfi to not only make inquiries, but to initiate a hospital room visit to Tony, given the length of his ongoing therapy and the apparent depth of his attachment to her as the "good enough mother." Her frame would suppport such a decision, as well. As a matter of fact, I have seen this very thing in real life: a young comatose man lay dying of an aneurysm in the ICU, while his psychotherapist quietly talked to him and was just "with him". Given the closeness of their established therapeutic relationship, it felt touching, appropriate as well as soothing. But who knows, as he died without regaining consciousness.
As the first ethical principle is to "do no harm," I feel that a visit from Melfi would be palliative as well as ethically sound. As expressed upthread, I expect a strong and deliberate reaction from Melfi. Along these lines I sensed that Tony was not calling Carm at the end of his dream, but his shrink possibly to report/process a newly realized clarity about that which had been previously unable to access.
This is interesting fodder. Many therapists who engage in longterm work have "the" conversation regarding out-of-session contact at some point; therefore, this issue is aired hopefully before either one has to ruminate too terribly much.
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Re: would it be inappropriate for melfi to vist tony?
6OE, thanks for that info. I'm betting that Melfi shows up in episode 3, then. I would like to see her personal reaction to Tony's plight in an unguarded context, perhaps in a session with Elliot.
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