Splish, I'm greatly touched that you and others have expressed concern for how the recent episodes are affecting me. If that's not a tribute to how "real" this show is, I don't know what is.
But my recent down turn is entirely about the murder of Chris and its aftermath and what they both say about Tony. None of it is in any way concerned with the fights between Tony and Carmela, which were emotionally vicious but absolutely captivating to watch. And, again, 100% real.
I have no problem whatsoever reconciling those kinds of fights with a degree of love and interdependency that can still bind a marriage together. I grew up all my life watching such a marriage. One parent blaming the other's genetics for some undesired trait or taking credit for some desired one was fairly common place in my household, enough that it became a good-natured joke between me and my parents. Often when I desired to avoid personal responsibility for some failure or delinquency, I would blame it on a bad gene from whichever parent was nudging me to take some corrective action.
And I actually think I heard each of them, especially my mother, say things that seemed more cutting, more intentionally designed to injure than anything either Carmela or Tony said to each other in the two fights in question. My parents were married 38 years until my dad's death. Go figure.
Tony, his spirits crushed after b-lining to the fridge first thing in the morning: "Who ate the last piece of cake?"