View Full Version : Favorite Quotes from The Sopranos (all seasons)

March 25th, 2007, 07:03 PM
when paulie is in italy he says something along the lines of
"i love these apples, no steeroids"

there was one time when tony says something to silvo about leadership and how every decision affects the next. if anyone remembers please post it

March 26th, 2007, 03:14 PM
AJ - "So what, no f***ing ziti now?"


Tony - "Revenge is like cold cuts"

Melfi - " I think it's, revenge is a dish best served cold."

Tony - "What did I say?"


Paulie - "You’re not gonna believe this. The guy killed 16 Czechoslovakians. He was an interior decorator."

Christopher - "His house looked like shit."


Melfi - "When's the last time you had a prostate exam?"

Tony - "Hey, I don't even let anyone wag their finger in my face."


Tony - "Uncle Junior and I, we had our problems with the Business. But I never should have razzed him about eating p***y. This whole war could have been averted. Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this."


Tony - "All due respect, you got no fuckin' idea what it's like to be Number One. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other f***in' thing. It's too much to deal with almost. And in the end you're completely alone with it all."

March 27th, 2007, 01:15 AM
wow prof thanx alot
i love that quote !

i expected more replies for this thread lol wut happend !!:confused:

March 27th, 2007, 04:15 PM
"Its the Jaaaacket" Richie Aprile..

I love that line.

March 27th, 2007, 05:02 PM
There are far too many to mention. I always loved the way Ralphie indignantly protested to Johnny Sack, "I've given MY LIFE...to this thing...and this is the thanks I get?"

March 29th, 2007, 12:52 PM
Tony to Chris

"You threw food at Vito, this needs to be resolved."

Cracks me up.

April 8th, 2007, 10:08 PM
Paulie : "Its like an add for a wait loss centre, before and way the fuck before"

April 10th, 2007, 05:30 PM
I always loved this one.....

Carmella: They're going to New York. He's taking her (Meadow) to Aida."

Tony (very concerned): "I eat her?"

April 12th, 2007, 10:10 PM
Feech La Manna: In my day...

Tony Soprano: That's another thing. I don't want to hear anymore how it was in your day. From now on, keep your antidotes to local color, like Dinoflow or Maguire sisters. Otherwise, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

'Tony Soprano : There's an old Italian saying: you fuck up once, you lose two teeth.

April 13th, 2007, 05:26 PM
Richie Aprile (to Junior): "You're flexing....YOU'RE FLEXING!!!"

D-Girl: "The silencers underscore their voiceless place in society."

Bobby: "What? People sit in chairs."

Tony: "...whoever did this..."

Tony: "Don't besmirch the man, Sal."

So many but those are the first ones off the top of my head.

April 14th, 2007, 06:10 PM
Some others that came to mind:

in "The Strong Silent Type" when Adriana realizes Christopher has sat on and killed her dog, Cosette:
Christopher: "...I don't know, she must have crawled under there for warmth or something."

Tony: "What am I a toxic person?" I love that line especially because he says it multiple times throughout the episode (Everybody Hurts I believe it is)

Janice: "Well, as you all know I have an extraordinary visual sense..." (Proshai, Livushka, very underrated episode)

April 16th, 2007, 02:04 AM
Fin: Vito was blowing the security gaurd
dunno this guys name: catching not pitching?

5 second silence

Fin: Hes not gonna know i told u ?
Paulie: You aint gonna have one problem from vito ... believe me !
Fin: What are you gonna do?
Chrissy: It'll be ok... get him to pay for some therapy....

April 17th, 2007, 11:55 AM
Paulie - "You’re not gonna believe this. The guy killed 16 Czechoslovakians. He was an interior decorator."

Christopher - "His house looked like shit."

Hats off to Prof D Boiz.


I just love the malapropisms. But this one just has to be the best of all - the absolute cream of the crop. Stupid Paulie. He just keeps them coming.

April 17th, 2007, 02:44 PM
Episode "Whoever Did This"

Tony to Jr. "What is todays date"?

Jr to Tony "A blonde with big tits and a hatful of viagra".

April 19th, 2007, 06:16 AM
i expected more replies for this thread lol wut happend !!

There seem to be "favorite quotes" threads under each individual episode as well as under each individual season (or maybe it was somewhere else). Anyway, that is such a shame because the topic "favorite quotes" is just one of my favorites and it's a shame that it gets so diluted.

If I had a suggestion to fix this, I surely would. But all we can do is hope Fly will have time to do something about it. I usually watch at least one episode a day and would love to contribute more favorite quotes.

April 25th, 2007, 01:41 AM
From "Denial, Acceptance, Anger"

Jewish Guy: What would you do if your daughter's husband was abusing her? [paraphrased]

Tony: I'd talk to him...

Sil: Yeah, in ball peen hammer.

April 26th, 2007, 11:47 PM
I have a million of them, here is one.

Season 5, when Tony is yelling at Janice for abandoning him with their mother when they were younger.

To para-phrase Tony:
"You left me alone in that house, mirred in her B.S. while you were off dropping Acid and blowing roadies"

Then Bobby said: "Roadies?!" and Tony said "oh, you don't want to know"

I just love the shock and sadness on Bobby's face and the way he says Roadies. It was always funny to me.

April 27th, 2007, 08:51 PM
Episode 51 - Eloise

I watched it for the second or third time a few days ago and then watched it several times since. It is rapidly becoming my most favorite episode of them all. There are so many reasons for that. One of the largest is an unbelievable "tour de force" performance by Edie Falco. The range of emotion she displays concerning Furio - especially when he suddenly leaves the country and returns to Italy - has to be seen to be believed. It is not the usual reason I watch The Sopranos. I tend to like the "guy" stuff and don't usually care for many chick flicks or for many of the emotional chick aspects of The Sopranos, but Edie's talent and her delivery in this episode rivals any of the world's best actors. It's just my opinion, but if you have access to this episode, her performance just has to be seen to be believed.

The episode is no longer than most any other, but it's just jam-packed full of action and emotion that makes it one of the very best of all Soprano episodes. As for favorite quotes, my favorites have always been the malapropisms. And there is no one who delivers more of them than Little Carmine.

The following quotes were all spoken by Little Carmine in the space of about two minutes near the beginning of the episode. The last two are not really malapropisms, but they do carry the Little Carmine stamp of lunacy.

. LC to Carmine (about Tony): "He's an old-fashioned kind of guy - very allegorical". Miriam-Webster gives the meaning of "allegorical" as "having hidden spiritual meaning that transcends the literal sense of a sacred text". Despite that, I'm sorry to say that I just don't feel very confident in my understanding of the word. However, I am quite confident that it has nothing to do with Tony being old-fashioned or anything else related to the way in which LC used the word.

. LC to Johnny: "Pop, with his testatories ..." - who can guess what he meant when he used the word "testatories"? I certainly can't imagine. I've never heard this word before and never heard any word even remotely like it. It's not in the dictionary. Can anyone make a guess?

. LC to Johnny: "a total debacle" - although he used the correct word in the correct context, he pronounced it in a way that I've never heard before or even imagined before. He placed the emphasis on the first syllable instead of the second. My dictionary shows the only correct pronunciation is the one we all use - with the emphasis on the second syllable. I've never heard the word pronounced that way before and it sounded so bizarre, it was almost like being smacked in the head with a two-by-four.

. LC to Johnny: "on reflection, maybe that's the sticking post ..." Well, I've heard of a "sticking point" before, but never a "sticking post". The Free Dictionary defines a "sticking point" as a point, issue, or situation that causes or is likely to cause an impasse. Does anyone have a guess what he might have meant by "sticking post"?


. LC to Johnny (about Tony): "He's a bit of a Pozzeur." I'm not sure whether this is an Italian word or whether LC meant to use the word "poser" with an Italian affect. He followed this statement with the one below. Although it may make some sense to say that a poser likes "to talk the talk", LC used it in a completely inappropriate context. He seemed to want to say that Tony likes to just shoot his mouth off, but that's not really what "to talk the talk" is about.

. LC to Johnny (about their position re HUD): "we got backed up into a corner". I've heard of people painting themselves into a corner - but never heard of anyone getting backed up into a corner. Any guesses on its meaning?

Now, I'd like to discuss just what is going on with Little Carmine. Can there be any sensible explanation for someone who talks the way he does? Are there any real people who do this? For example, how is it possible for anyone to know how to use the word "debacle" yet not know how to pronounce it? I've been trying to imagine just what kind of circumstances someone could endure that would let this happen. I suppose if someone spent their life all alone without ever talking to anyone else or ever hearing anyone speak, they might have learned some words like "debacle" from books but never having heard how to pronounce them, they could easily come to the mistaken conclusion that they were pronounced with the emphasis on the wrong syllable. I can imagine a few other bizarre circumstances that might explain how someone like Little Carmine could reach the age of 35 (I guess) and every time they speak, a stream of malapropisms comes gushing out of their mouth. But I'd sure be interested to hear what any of you might think. Can anyone offer any kind of explanation as to how someone like Little Carmine comes into being?

Finally, I'd like to discuss the story that LC tells Tony about the king of France, Louis XVI and his Finance Minister, Turgot. Tony was speaking about Johnny Sac and mentioned that Johnny liked to live beyond his means a little. LC countered with this story about Louis XVI (who was guillotined) and his Finance Minister (Turgot) who Louis "clapped into irons" because he built a house that was more luxurious than the Palace of Versailles where the king lived. We've seen that LC likes to tell these very dramatic stories that seem to indicate he is making a very profound point. Yet, considering this context, the story really didn't deliver a good point. I suppose you might think he was implying that his father would whack Johnny because he lived in a house that was more luxurious than Carmine's. But that didn't seem to make sense. It certainly didn't ring true and it had no point. It was just a way of telling a story that seemed to be saying something terribly profound, yet really didn't deliver any sensible message. I get the idea that LC likes to hear himself talk and he tells these stories that sound like they are delivering a very important message in order to make himself seem like a very wise and important man, yet underneath it all, there's nobody home. I guess, maybe LC is really quite stupid and tries to compensate for that by using large words and telling profound stories, but it's all just noise and bluster. Does that seem like a fair assessment of LC to any of you? I'd really like to hear your opinions of LC's behavior.

There's a well know expression that I can't quite remember. I think it may come from Shakespeare. It goes something like, "full of wind and bluster but signifying nothing". Could that be it? Can anyone help me remember this phrase? I'd like to try to use it to describe LC. It sure seems to fit him.

April 27th, 2007, 08:52 PM
Hey! Good News for those of us who like Favorite Quotes from each episode. This thread hasn't gotten very much action. There is a thread for our favorite quotes from the current episode as it airs. But there aren't many threads for oder episodes. So if you like to go back and view episodes from previous seasons, there is very little opportunity for you to share your favorite quotes from those episodes or to see other peoples' favorites - except maybe to post them in this thread.

To that end, Detective Hunt has made this thread a sticky and I'm hoping that people will choose to post some of their favorite quotes for any episode they tend to re-watch if it doesn't already have a thread for favorite quotes.

In this way, we can all share our favorite quotes from past seasons and hopefully this thread will become very active and more people will post their favorite quotes from previous seasons. If people start posting their favorite quotes here, I will ask the moderators to consider moving them into some more appropriate threads - creating more "Favorite Quote" threads as needed.

I just posted a bunch of quotes from Episode 51 - Eloise above this post. It has become my most favorite episode of them all.

P.S. After writing this post, I have decided that it would be a mistake to ask the moderators to move any of the "Favorite Quotes" that people post here. It is a lot of work to post a "Favorite Quotes" thread under all the previous episodes. I think it's fine to post one under each of the new episodes - since there are only 6 left. But it would make things so much easier if the "Favorite Quotes" from all other past episodes were posted right here. After all, the more traffic that this thread gets, the more people will feel like participating and the easier it will be for people to know where to post their "Favorite Quotes". There will be only one place. Here!

Detective Hunt has created a whole bunch of new threads for each episode for some of the previous seasons. But there are still a few seasons with no threads yet posted and it's a big job to create all those threads - especially since no one knows how much traffic these threads will actually see. It's so much simpler to just post everything here and move things later if necessary. After all, there are close to 100 episodes in total over all six seasons.

April 27th, 2007, 10:45 PM
Splishak, I totally agree with your assesment of Little Carmine. I too was just watching some of season 4 and the episode "Eloise" and he is definently one of those people who try to cover his lack of intelligence with big words and quotes that he constantly forgets how they go. I do enjoy this character in a supporting role and loved the time Johnny Sack sunk his boat. Tony replied to Johnny, "what's with you, you sunk that idiot's boat?" I also loved when Tony called him, brainless the 2nd. So for all of Little Carmine's big words and stories everyone sees him for the moron he is, making the character truly entertaining to listen to.

April 27th, 2007, 10:53 PM
I love this thread, and will post my favorite quotes/scenes whenever I can to keep it going. I am always watching old episodes and there are so many great quotable lines throughout the history of the series. Here is one I just saw that I love, classic Paulie:

Season 4, episode "Eloise"

After Minn Matrone gets into a car accident with Cookie and Paulie's mom in the car, Paulie comes to the hospital to check on her. The doctor asks Minn when the last time she had her eye sight checked, to which she replied that her eye sight was fine, leading Paulie to this gem of a line:

Paulie- "You shouldn't be behind the wheel at your age"
Minn- "I've been driving since I was a young girl"
Paulie- "Horse and buggies don't count"

April 27th, 2007, 11:51 PM
Hey there WITWF,

I'm so glad you decided to post here. I'm going to get some more of Paulie's classsics. He is almost as bad as LC but a little different. One of my favorites was when he said, "A word to the wise .... Remember Pearl Harbor!" A truly world-class dumbass! He was warning Chris about some Korean guy and used an example of a Japanese sneak attack.

I have to post some more of Paulie's dumbass delights.

It is so sad that this thread has gotten so little traffic. I'm sure that other people watch some older episodes some times and might like to post some of their favorite quotes but can't find an appropriate thread and this thread has just been so impoverished. It would be great if we could get a few people to post in here.

I think a real problem is that People just don't find a lot of action in The Kitchen Sink forum, so they tend to avoid posting here. Then, because there are so few people posting here, it's a snowball effect. People don't want to post in here because there is so little action here. And so there becomes even less action here because so few people are posting here.

But, I wonder if you will mind if I ask about your name. Is it a reference to that episode with Junior when he was playing golf with Tony and Artie and someone referred to someone being "in the muff"? While someone else spoke of "Whistling in the Weat Fields"?

April 28th, 2007, 04:56 AM
Yes, that is exactly where it comes from. The episode "Boca" in season 1 when Tony finds out through the grapevine from Carmella about Junior's oral skills. I just love that line from Tony about, "the old man's whistling in the wheatfields?" He also had some other good ones later on the golf course with the "Uncle Jun's in the muff, did I say muff I meant rough." Also when Tony was saying he smelt sushi and said, "what are you doing eating sushi Uncle Jun I thought you were a bacala man." Of course when Tony is singing, "South of The Border" as well and Junior's reactions are priceless in trying to act like he doesn't know what Tony is talking about.

One of my top 10 favorite episodes ever.

April 28th, 2007, 05:13 AM
Wow! You have a great memory. You nailed every single one of those references in that episode.

I hope you will post some more of your favorite quotes.

I'd also like to ask people what they think about including favorite moments that were brought about by quotes. These aren't exactly funny quotes or malapropisms. But they are something that someone says and as a result, creates a memorable moment. For example:

I was watching an episode from Season 5 tonight where Ade was getting fed up with having to deal with the FBI creeps and she finally just blasts Agent Sanseverino, asking, "How much longer do I have to keep doing this for you FBI people? What do I get out of it?" The agent thinks for a second and then answers something like, "Well, you get the satisfaction of knowing that you are doing something good for society and to help your government." Ade doesn't hesitate a second and shoots back, "No. Seriously. What do I get out of it?"

What a powerful moment! You could see that the Agent suddenly realized that Ade believed - just like so many people believe - that the FBI is just full of shit and that Ade thought the agent's entire working life was just bullshit. It was an incredible moment as this realization rolled across the face of the agent - just like a moving neon sign. It was as if she was asking herself, "Could it really be possible that my whole working life has just been a bunch of bullshit and a waste of time?"

I loved that moment. But do you think it could be included in a thread called, "Favorite Quotes"? The quote would be Ade saying, "No. Seriously." That was all it took to make this agent face the possibility that her entire working life had been a waste of time. Falling for an FBI trick that forces her to report on her friends in order to send them away for life imprisonment is really something that is good for society and helps our government? Does that really sound like something that is good for society?

Poor Adriana. My heart just went out to her. If only she knew that she could have gotten the FBI off her back almost instantly with very little trouble - just by finding a lawyer and telling the FBI not to talk to her anymore but to talk to her lawyer.

April 28th, 2007, 02:28 PM
Here's one from Tony I always enjoyed:

In the episode where he is talking to Uncle Junior about Carmine having Johnny Sack whacked because of his refusal to let Ralph's Ginny Sack joke go:

Tony- "The f**ked up thing is I don't even like Ralph, if he was drowning I'd throw him a cinderblock."
I always loved that quote. I have used it myself since to describe someone I didn't like. Thanks Tone!

Also from the same scene, Junior has a good one about Carmine, when he says, "That one's a slippery f**k, him with those big fish lips"

Junior always makes me laugh.

April 28th, 2007, 02:49 PM
Here's one from Christopher in season 4, in the episode where they have the intervention for him. Before they do he tries to buy drugs in a bad neigborhood and instead of selling to him they rob and beat him up. They grab the gun he has on his ankle and ask what he's gonna do with that to which Christopher replied.

"I'm gonna shove it up your sister's twat"

Also at the intervention when they were airing their grievences with Chrissie, abou how his drug use effected them.

Silvio- "I came in to open up one morning and there you were head in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting."

The way he delivered the line, in the Sivio serious voice while reading off the paper was tremendous.

April 28th, 2007, 03:19 PM
In this forum, when I report an incident describing a favorite quote, I'll try to describe it to the best of my recollection. But I may not remember the exact wording of the quote and hope you will be satisfied with my efforts to report these incidents to the best of my recollection. I hope you will cut me some slack where needed.

Episode 5.01 - "Two Tonys".

One evening, the boys and their goomahs were out and enjoying dinner at one of their favorite fine dining establishments. It must have been a Friday night since that is traditionally the goomah's night out. Once again, I got a tremendous laugh from Paulie. He never fails to amaze and delight me.

Paulie decided this would be the perfect time to pontificate on the fate of the early dinosaurs. One of the goomahs appeared to have recently studied a Scientific American and she reported to her colleagues that it was likely a number of meteors that caused the dinosaurs' extinction. But Professor Gualtieri wasn't having any of that. He clarified the facts for all the attending luminaries by explaining, "they were all meat eaters.

Unfortunately, poor Christopher had spent most of his day as the recepient of Paulie's never-ending wisdom and knowledge (also known as his yammeering). He just could not take another word and unfortunately he just flew off the handle and shouted at Paulie, "Meteors! Meteors! She said they were meteors, you idiot. Not meat eaters."

Episode 5.02 - "The Rat Pack".

Once again, the boys were out and about and Professor Gualtieri was providing the evening's entertainment. He decided to share his tremendous body of knowledge with the local wise men and began to quote a line from his extensive libary of the great Eastern sages. I know that we have never actually seen this alleged library, but it surely must be huge owing to the tremendous amount of knowledge and wisdom that Dr. Gualtieri is professed to possess.

I listened to the quote by "Sun Tzu" (pronounced "Sun Zoo") many times but, for some reason, I was never able to hear it correctly. My best recollection is, "According to San Tee Zoo, a good commander is benevolent and unconcerned with failure". If any of you can go back and get the exact quote, I would be grateful if you could post the actual quote from "Sun Tzu".

Unfortunately, Paulie pronounced the name of the famous wise man "Sun Tzu" as "Sunta Zoo" or "San Tee Zoo" - kind of like a Christmas zookeeper. On top of that, he was overcome by some demented need to keep repeating the mangled version over and over again.

Finally, Paulie mangled this name so often, that at one point, Silvio could no longer contain himself and exploded in a rage, shouting at Paulie, "It's "Sun Zoo". "Sun Zoo". Not "San Tee Zoo", you fucking imbecille!

Episode 5.03 - "Where's Johnny".

One of my favorite moments from that episode went something like this:

After an outing in the city, Paulie and his mother walk into a room and in a moment of heart-rendering love and affection for his mother, he tells her, "Have a seat, maw and rest those dogs." Rarely have we seen a son extend himself to such a degree for his mother. What a saint that boy is!

April 28th, 2007, 06:52 PM
Ha Ha, yeah that was a great scene with Paulie, "Their all meat eaters", what a dumb ass! I love Christopher's reaction to it as well in correcting him. Which leads Paulie to say, "take it easy"

Here is another one from Paulie in Season 3, episode "University" This was the ep when Ralphie beat the stripper Tracee to death. Prior to that there was a party in the VIP room at the Bing. Vito and Bobby were standing next to each other having a conversation when Paulie walked in and gave us this:

Paulie- "Oh, it's like an add for weight loss, before and WAY before"

What a ball-buster!

April 28th, 2007, 07:10 PM
Here's a good Ralphie line, also involving Paulie. There was a sitdown with Tony to settle a dispute between Ralph and Paulie. The guys were sitting around waiting because Ralph was late and Paulie was bitching about getting there first, when Ralph finally showed up:

Paulie- "You're late!"
Ralphie- "Tommorow I can be on time, but you'll be stupld forever"

Can't disagree with that one!

April 28th, 2007, 08:44 PM
Oh, it's like an add for weight loss, before and WAY before"

Oh yes! I got a kick out of that. Surprising that Paulie does not ALWAYS play the part of a stooge.

Ralphie- "Tommorow I can be on time, but you'll be stupld forever"

You just know that Paulie is completely defenseless in a battle of wits. He is unarmed and will always be unarmed.

So many of these guys get into verbal quarrels with Paulie and just tear him apart. Paulie gets hot but that just ruins his ability to come back at them. Reminds me of the scene in Goodfellas where Joe Pesci kills a guy cuz he couldn't think of any other way to deal with an insult. Paulie would kill someone before he would stand for a verbal insult.

Any surprise Finn disappeared from Meadow's life? Who in their right mind would want these people for in-laws? Yee-ikes!!!

April 28th, 2007, 09:31 PM
[QUOTE=Reminds me of the scene in Goodfellas where Joe Pesci kills a guy cuz he couldn't think of any other way to deal with an insult. [/QUOTE]

Wait which scene are you talking about? The one with a young Michael Imperioli (Christopher) as Spider? When Pesci shoots him after DeNiro is like "Your gonna take that from him?" Talk about great scenes! "Dance for me Spider!"

Anyway, back on topic, here is another great one not funny, but powerful from
Season 5. I believe it is the episode, "Cold Cuts". Christopher is going on a rant to Adriana in their apartment about feeling underappreciated by Tony, in which he stares at the wall and says, F**k you You fat F**king scumbag" and "I could take him out in a second, his kids wouldn't even miss him"
Then he sits down on the couch next to Adriana, and with a defeat-ist look he says, "That's the guy Adriana, my uncle Tony the guy I'm going to hell for"

What a powerful scene! And typical Christopher getting all hot headed and running off at the mouth about something he would never do. Then calming down and realizing his fate.

April 28th, 2007, 11:03 PM
Of all the characters in this show, I think Chris is the easiest to understand and to predict. As he has said many times, he is a soldier and he will follow Tony all the way - straight into Hell.

Remember at the Cleaver premier when he told Tony that he had arranged for some cases of vodka to be put in Tony's car? It just reinforced the point that even when Chris' Hollywood star was in ascension, his priority was to give the boss his cut.

IMO, Christopher will never break his LCN ties. First and foremost, he is a soldier and will always be a soldier. His Hollywood adventures may get him killed if he produces something about the LCN. But Chris will never, ever leave the mob for any other career. Christopher is in it for the long haul.

April 28th, 2007, 11:36 PM
I know this is going off topic but do any of you really think Chris would kill Tony? I think it would be too predictable. I think Cleaver is simply a revenge fantasy and nothing more. Yes, the relationship between Chris and Tony is strained but I just can't see Chris doing that to Tony.

April 28th, 2007, 11:55 PM
Hey there Pitbulllv.

Should anyone ever kill Tony, I would think it would more likely be AJ than Chris. And though I surely do not believe either one of them will ever kill Tony, as you well know, only Mr. Chase knows that for sure.

My point is just that Chris is Tony's A-Number One soldier who would probably be the very last person to ever kill Tony - though that is just my opinion, to be sure.

But again, as you well know, when it comes to The Sopranos, anything is possible. After all, we are talking about a product that emenates from the mind of David Chase. So, you just never can tell.

But now, speaking of AJ, I'd just like to add that he has always been my favorite character. I guess that's because I've always considered myself to be in AJ's role as the eldest son (as well as the youngest son). By the way, I do realize that even though AJ is younger than Meadow, he is still the eldest son.

April 29th, 2007, 03:12 PM
Here is a great Ralphie Ciffaretto line from Season 3, Episode "University"

In the backroom VIP party in the back of The Bing, Ralphie arrives and approaches his then Captain, Gigi Gestone.

Ralphie- "Where's Tony at?"
Gigi- "He's getting his weasel greased"
Ralphie- "Ah, ya kid brother's here"

Classic ball busting Ralphie!

May 1st, 2007, 12:34 PM
some good ones, fo' sure.

I like the 16 Czechoslovakians...classic.
I liked Junior's Blind man joke the other day:
What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?
"Good mornin' ladies":icon_wink:

and the good/bad Russian quote in my sig is also a favorite of mine.

so many good ones, so hard to recall them.

May 1st, 2007, 03:29 PM
Here's a good Ralphie Ciffaretto line from Season 3. It was after Mustang Sally beat Vito's brother on the street and everone was visiting in the hospital.

Tony- "I know your upset, but you didn't tell anybody about this, right?"
Vito- "I may be mad, but I ain't stupid I know how to keep my mouth shut"

Ralphie- "Unless there's a tuna sandwich involved"

Even in a tragedy Ralph can't help being a smart ass.

May 1st, 2007, 03:36 PM
Here's one from Season 1. When Tony was dealing with the Hassids who ran the motel buisness. Everyone was at the hospital visiting Jackie Aprile and Hesh was explaining them and said they were Hassidamen. And Paulie reponded with this.

"Hassid 'em, but I don't believe 'em"
Heh Heh

May 1st, 2007, 05:14 PM
Not a quote exactly - but a favorite moment - tho I've never seen anyone mention it before.

At the preview for Cleaver, Little Carmine says a few words and drops the most greatest number of malaprops per minute that I've ever seen before. Then Chris says a few words.

Then the Chinese director steps up to the mike and opens a piece of paper that seemed obviously to me to be a speech and reaches for the mike as if he is about to say a few words. Chris reaches out and snatches the mike away, as if he's thinking, "Yeah right, China boy. As if anyone wants to hear what you have to say!

The look on the director's face was a golden moment for me!

May 2nd, 2007, 03:39 AM
Many hilarious lines over the years!

- Paulie hit a yard worker in the head with a shovel making him let go of a rope, causing another guy in the tree with a chainsaw to fall to the ground.

Feech, who hired the yard crew brings this to Tony.

Paulie, giving his side of the story says, "He jumped out 'da tree and come at me with a chainsaw!"

- Silvio at Vessuvio's, "Where'd he get this bread... the bread museum!"

- Paulie at dinner in back of the pork store, "The average man's sh*t house... piss all over the floor. You go into a lady's bathroom, you could eat maple walnut icecream off of the porcelain."

May 2nd, 2007, 07:36 PM
Here's one of my favorite exchanges, back in season 1 between Tony and Mikey Palmice. Mikey brings up the incident when Christopher and Brendan were jacking Uncle Junior's trucks.

Tony- "Hey Mikey, how's the boy?"
Mikey P.- (looking around)- "What boy is that Tone?"
Tony- "The one you sleep with"
Tony- "Hey I'm just kidding around, right?"
Mikey- "What's with your nephew, what is he retarded or something. He likes playing with trucks?"

Tony- "Ah, what if Jerry Lewis heard you talking like that?"
Mikey- "That's Muscular Dystrophy, Tone"
Tony- "To bad they don't have a tele-thon for fuck face- itis, they find a cure yet?"

Classic Stuff!

May 2nd, 2007, 07:41 PM
Here's one I enjoyed from "College" in season 1. When Tony is with Meadow checking out schools, Christopher must wait by a pay phone for Tony to call him back, in a rain storm.

Tony- "Whatta got?"
Christopher- "Wet shoes"
Tony- "Hey you chose this life. You want dry feet, try out for the fuckin' Yankees."

May 2nd, 2007, 07:54 PM
After they killed the Cuban guy, Paulie's phone call to Tony to confirm it.

Paulie- "Juan Valdez has been seperated from his donkey"

This is one of the things I love about this show, to protect themselves from wire taps they come up with code words to avoid trouble. Some of the ones they come up with are hillarious. Actually here is another example:

In The Pine Barrens episode from Season 3, Tony is on the phone from home with Paulie (in the woods) and they are discusing if the Russian got away or he was dead.

Tony- "Did the package survive?"
Paulie- "What's that Tone, I can't hear you, you're breaking up?"
Tony- "The package, did it survive?!"
(As AJ sits on the couch and raises his eyebrows in confusion as to what Tony is talking about)

May 2nd, 2007, 09:37 PM
From Uncle Junior in Season 4- "For All Debts Public and Private"

Murf- (on the phone at Junior's house) "I'll tell him"
Junior- "Tell me what?"
Murf- "That was Melvoin"
Junior- "So it was Melvoin. What the fuck is this, Mother May I? Go ahead, tell me!"

May 2nd, 2007, 10:03 PM
Season 4- "For All Debts Public and Private"
This exchange between Tony and Bobby Bacala at a diner.

Bobby- "Mom started going downhill after the World Trade Center." You know Quasimodo predicted all this."

Tony- "Who did what?"
Bobby- "All these problems. The Middle East, the end of the world."
Tony- "Nostradamus. Quasimodo's the Hunchback of Notre Dame."
Bobby- "Oh right. Notre Damus."
Tony- "Nostradamus, and Notre Dame. Two different things completely."
Bobby- "It's interesting though, they'd be so similar, isn't it?" And I always thought okay, Hunchback of Notre Dame. You also got your quarterback and halfback of Notre Dame."

Tony- "One's a fucking cathedral."
Bobby- "Obviously. I know, I'm just saying. It's interesting, the coincidence. What your gonna tell me you never pondered that? The back thing with Notre Dame?"

Tony- "No!"

A classic underated exchange of dialougue on the show. Bobby is such a dumb ass! It is great.
And no, I didn't remember that scene word for word. I may be a Sopranos junkie, but I'm not that good. I just happened to be watching that episode again and always loved that exchange.

May 3rd, 2007, 11:04 AM
Season 5 - Unidentified Black Males

Tony and Melfi are talking in her office. Tony tells her that his cousin Tony B. has an IQ of 158.

Melfi: So, you think he's smarter than you are?
Tony: Honestly? I think he's smarter than you are.


Later, Tony & Carm meet at Artie's restaurant where Carmella tells him that she plans to go ahead with the divorce.

Carmella: "I just want what I'm entitled to."
Tony: "You're entitled to shit!"

Then Tony calls over to Artie: "She's ready to order now!"

May 3rd, 2007, 12:14 PM
Season 5 - Unidentified Black Males

Tony and Melfi are talking in her office. Tony tells her that his cousin Tony B. has an IQ of 158.

Melfi: So, you think he's smarter than you are?
Tony: Honestly? I think he's smarter than you are.

Wanted to make one minor correction to this one, splish, as the text you left out makes me laugh on its own.

Melfi: So we can assume you think he's smarter than you?

Tony: Honestly I think he's smarter than you the way you keep shittin' on the test.

LMAO! He stung Melfi with that one, too. You could see she had a hard time accepting that one in silence.

May 3rd, 2007, 02:20 PM
I've been re-watching some of the episodes from Season Five lately. Some of my favorite moments concern some scenes between a child and an adult.

Cold Cuts has always been one of my favorite episodes. Mostly because of the masterful acting and writing in the scene at the end of the episode where Tony causes Janice to explode in anger when he pushed her buttons re Harpo. It was as if he was saying to himself, "So. You think you have been cured of your anger problem? Well, let's just see how cured you are!"

Janice had been attending some Anger Management classes and was acting as if she had been cured and was now a new happy person. Tony reacted badly to that. It was almost as if he felt Janice was goading him in a way, as if she was saying that she was doing better with her therapy than he was with his and I think Tony was determined to show her that she was in no way "cured" or close to it. Very childish, no?

I also loved the song at the end of that episode. It was by The Kinks and was one of the best songs I've ever heard in the entire series. It is a very difficult piece of music to find. I believe the version of the song used in the episode is a different version than the one usually found on the album. You have to find some special album or some bootleg version to get the one used from the TV episode. Very sorry. But I forget the name of the song offhand.

Anyway, I found some eery similarities between scenes in Cold Cuts (where Janice gets into a punch-up with one of the other soccer moms) and some scenes in Soprano Home Movies and Chasing It -- especially some of the scenes between a child and an adult.

For example, in Cold Cuts, after Janice punches another soccer mom and gets arrested, she comes home and has a talk with Sophia just before bedtime.

Janice: You'll see. When you're a parent, you'll defend your kids like a lion with her cubs.
Sophia: You're not my parent.
Janice: What did you say? (said with a good deal of underlying anger at the child).

Remember the episode, "Soprano Home Movies"? When Janice and Carmella were sitting by the lake with Janice's daughter, Janice told her daughter to come out of the water and her daughter answered, "No!" When Janice replied to that, the expression on Janice's face and the tone of her voice were almost identical to that in "Cold Cuts" when Sophia told her, "You're not my parent" and she answered, "What did you say?" In both cases, I honestly thought she was on the verge of striking the child.

There was another episode in which I was reminded of Janice saying:

"You'll see. When you're a parent, you'll defend your kids like a lion with her cubs."

But I don't remember when or where. Is anyone else reminded of some other episode where an adult tells a child something like, "When you're a parent, you'll defend your kids like a lion with her cubs."?

When I started this post, there was a few other things that I wanted to say - a few other things that I was reminded of. But I'm sorry. I forgot them. I hope to come back later. Or maybe someone else is reminded of any other scenes or episodes concerning an adult and child?

May 26th, 2007, 05:33 AM
i cant remember who said this prolly Chrissy

"look at newton, someone threw an apple at his and he invents gravity"

i probobly said it wrong too

June 9th, 2007, 11:53 AM
Very funny clip of quotes from YouTube:

Listen carefully!


July 1st, 2007, 04:24 PM
One of the funniest lines in the entire series, imo, was in ep. #76, "Cold Stones".

When Tony wanders into the back room at Satriale's and sees the freshly aerated body of Fat Dom on the work table, a guiltful Carlo sheepishly tells Tony "Sil hit him first."

July 31st, 2007, 05:26 PM
Junior- a chinese immigrant is having trouble seeing so he goes to see his doctor. The doctor says "You have cataract" and the chinaman says "no, I drive a Rincoln"

Bobby- *stares blankly*

Junior- What? You don't get it?"

Bobby- I get it, he drives a lincoln...what?"

When tony is at the country club and Janice and Ritchie show up and tony has a talk with ritchie and tony starts yelling at him. Then at the end of the conversation...

Tony-...and dont give me those fuckin' Manson lamps, either!

July 13th, 2011, 08:16 PM
"He has no f*ckin conception." - Sylvio when Paulie is babbling in 4.9. Hehe... Uh... Perspective?

March 14th, 2012, 06:01 PM
Tony to Artie re Adrianna:

"You could have hair like fucking Casey Kasem and it wouldn't matter".....LOL

Sonny Tatts
December 17th, 2012, 08:53 PM
Johnny Boy: "Jesus, you're like this albacore around my neck"

Tony asks his favorite rhetorical question:" What happened to Gary Cooper..."

Sil, shrugging, "He died"

Chris from the back seat: "He was a fag, Gary Coopah?"

Tony, after one of AJ's outbursts: "Dis is fuckin' demoralizin'"

January 2nd, 2013, 11:49 AM
Prof hit some of the Best and Funniest... but you could reprint all of the scripts and then simply delete a few lines here and there.

June 29th, 2013, 01:23 PM
There were a phenomenal amount of fantastic lines of dialogue.

One that hit me during a recent re-watching of "Johnny Cakes" was Phil Leotardo saying to Tony: "I gotta be frank." He is Frank!

May 26th, 2014, 11:06 AM
Still love Silvio's rant at Bevilaqua in the "Executive Game" about the Cheese.

"Leave the cheese where it is, I happen to very much cheese around my feet. Sometimes I sleep with provolone in my socks at night, the smell reminds me of your sister's crotch."

May 29th, 2014, 12:25 AM
Adrianna : 'You said she had a nice ass!'

Christopher: 'I was trying to say something positive!!'


Spoons Parisi
August 25th, 2014, 05:12 PM
Christopher : "Fear knocked on the door. faith answered. There was no-one there"